


Drowning for Air

by devianta



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, CPR, Canon-Typical Violence, Choking, Drowning, Gen, Hospitals, Panic Attacks, acespec natsume, but he'll be ok, eventually, extremely violent fights between youkai, madara goes a bit crazy, maybe a little more violent since natsume is drowned by a youkai, no beta we die like natsume reiko, nobody is handling things well, two different characters vomit, youkai attack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26004523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devianta/pseuds/devianta
Summary: It was supposed to be a happy beach day for Natsume, Taki, Tanuma, and Nyanko-sensei. And it was happy, right up until Natsume is attacked by a youkai...
Relationships: Madara "Nyanko-sensei" & Natsume Takashi, Madara "Nyanko-sensei" & Taki Tooru, Madara "Nyanko-sensei" & Tanuma Kaname, Natsume Takashi & Taki Tooru & Tanuma Kaname
Comments: 32
Kudos: 89





	1. Can't we spend a normal day together?

**Author's Note:**

> A bit less happy than my previous fics. Be warned, here there be angst. Don't worry, there will eventually be fluff, but until we get to that point there's just going to be angst.  
> Tags will be added as we go along.  
> *8/21/2020 edited for spelling and grammar

It wasn't supposed to go like this. Today was supposed to be a happy beach day. His friends were here. Touko-san had packed them delicious lunches to take with them, even Nyanko-sensei got one! He'd never even been to the beach before today; he'd been so happy when Taki had suggested that he, Tanuma, and her go. It was like a dream come true...

Except for the pain from the youkai's tentacles constricting around his chest, forcing the air out of him. Except for his lungs burning as he's dragged deeper and deeper underwater. Except for the youkai's malicious laughter in his head as it showed image after image of what it intended to do to him after he stopped breathing. 

Today was supposed to be a good day.

But now everyone was going to be sad. He hoped they wouldn't be sad too long... 

Tanuma. Tanuma who listened to him, who wanted to understand what he was going through. He had looked so shocked when the youkai had pulled him under.

It hurt so much.

Taki. Taki who was so kind and sweet and patient. Taki, who took Nyanko-sensei to get more shrimp for his bento because, allegedly, you can never have too much shrimp.

It burned.

Touko-san. Touko-san who made him a bento every morning before he went to school, who made him and his friends one each today. She was always there for him, making sure he was ok, that he had what he needed.

He didn't want to leave.

Shigeru-san. Shigeru-san, who wanted to know when he came home each day and when he left, and was so tolerant of the destruction caused by the youkai who frequented the house. Shigeru-san, who told him that this was his home too.

He wanted...

Sensei. 

Sensei.

Sen... sei...

________

There was a youkai. Of this, Tanuma was certain. He'd felt the familiar headache coming on as Natsume suddenly screamed and was pulled beneath the waves. But how to save him? It was difficult helping Natsume with ayakashi when they were on dry land! After all, Tanuma couldn't properly see them. Under water? And with Natsume having meager minutes of air left... He wanted to scream! 

The shriek of a whistle cut through the air. A young woman, the lifeguard, raised a bullhorn to her mouth. "Everybody out of the water now! Return to land! I repeat: return to land immediately!" Then, after a few brief words into a handheld radio, she dashed towards the water, a red rescue buoy under one arm. 

Tanuma remained frozen in the water. Whatshouldhedowhatshouldhedowhatshouldhedo????

The lifeguard was swimming fast. Within a minute or so she was practically on top of him. "Are you ok?" she asked.

Tanuma shook his head. "My friend... He... There's something..."

She pushed the red rescue buoy to him. "Hold on to this. It's going to be ok. I can see them." Grabbing her whistle she let loose several short, sharp whistles. She waited. Seconds passed. She whistled again, three short and one long. A shadow appeared in the water. It was carrying something. A body. Natsume! 

"Natsume! Are you ok?" It was a dumb question. Tanuma reached for him and he helped pull Natsume onto the buoy. He wasn't moving.

The lifeguard turned to the shadow. "Did you get'em?" A pause. Tanuma couldn't hear anything but apparently she could. "Finish'em." And with that she towed the boys back to shore. 

_________

Taki was having fun. Not long after arriving at the beach Nyanko-sensei had declared that he was starving and he wanted his food Now. Natsume had taken the food out but, according to the cat, there wasn't enough shrimp. Natsume and Tanuma hadn't wanted to run to the store just to get more shrimp. Taki, on the other hand, was more than happy to snag the grumpy cat and carry him off to the store. Nyanko-sensei, while a bit unhappy at being squeezed incessantly as he was being carried, kept his complaints largely to himself as enduring this discomfort would ultimately result in him having more shrimp. Taki, meanwhile, was ecstatic to be cuddling the fluffiest fat cat she'd ever laid eyes on. 

After acquiring the shrimp, the two slowly made their way back to beach. The slowness was mostly due to Nyanko-sensei, who attempted to persuade Taki to buy more food at various stalls and stores along the way. Plastic food models of ice cream, takoyaki, taiyaki, mochi, and more sitting enticingly in the their display cases. The scents wafted through the air, unfathomably alluring to the perpetually hungry cat-shaped youkai. But Taki was unmoved by the cat's begging and only stopped once to buy ice cream. After all, how could she pass up ice cream on a hot summer's day at the beach?

And so, girl and cat were in fairly high spirits when they arrived back just in time to hear two of Natsume's ribs snap from the force of the chest compressions being performed on him.


	2. Frozen in Place

To Madara, the sound of Natsume's ribs snapping was not unlike the sound of ice cracking, cracking and dropping him into freezing cold water. It was as though all the warmth had left the world. Despite the summer sun, despite the heat of Taki's chest against his back, Madara felt frozen. Everything fell away. All was as still and silent as his... 

"Tanuma," Madara could vaguely hear Taki say, "Tanuma, what happened? Why is Natsume...?" 

A Tanuma-shaped blur appeared to Madara's right. He stank of vomit. "We- we were swimming... Over there." An arm appeared in Madara's line of sight, pointing towards the water, blocking his view. He wanted to break that arm. "But- but then there was a youkai. I didn't see it. It pulled him down and... And I didn't know what to do. He was gone. I couldn't see him." If Madara could look away, he imagined that he would notice that Tanuma was especially pale, perhaps a little green in the face. He would likely notice that the not-drowned boy was shaking. But he couldn't look away. Madara wasn't certain that he would ever be able to look away again.

There had been a youkai. Why hadn't Madara been there?

Natsume's face was blue.

"Then what?" Taki asked in a tiny voice. "If there was a youkai, then how is Natsume back on the beach? Tanuma? Are you-?"

Tanuma made a strangled gagging sound. "I'm going to be sick again." And he was gone.

A hideous pink and white foam was bubbling up out of Natsume's mouth. 

"Poor Tanuma," he felt more than heard Taki say. "Poor Natsume." A choked off sob. "Nyanko-sensei? Do you think...?"

Crack. Another rib snapped.

He didn't want to hear what she had to ask. Her arms felt like a cage. A strange, suffocating pressure was building within him, like the rising tide that threatened to swamp Madara's sandcastle. A temporary home, a temporary boy. He truly didn't think the tide would come in so soon. Human lives were fleeting, true, but...

The lifeguard kept putting her mouth on Natsume's and Madara knew Natsume hated that. One time, some months ago, some girl they didn't know came up and kissed Natsume on the mouth. Natsume let her down gently but as soon as they got home Natsume spent ten minutes brushing his teeth. Madara had been tempted to tease him but the look on Natsume's face made him swallow his words. Instead, he'd climbed up on the boy's shoulders and brushed his teeth too. Natsume had laughed.

"Nyanko-sensei? Are you okay?" 

No. He was not. He was cold and Taki's arms were like a vice squeezing the life out of him and Natsume wasn't breathing and so long as Natsume wasn't breathing Madara couldn't breathe and it felt like his heart was beating faster than a hummingbird's; it was beating so fast he thought he might die but he couldn't because he was a youkai, not a human, not like Natsume...

A young man, another lifeguard, sprinted down the beach towards them and skidded to a stop next to the young woman performing CPR. 

"I'mhereI'mhereI'mhere! The ambulance... is on its way!" he panted.

"Took you long enough. Take over!" She stood and moved out of the way as the other lifeguard took her place. 

A siren wailed in the distance. It was getting closer. If the ambulance got here before Natsume woke up then it would take him away. Madara had seen an ambulance once before when one of the neighbors got sick; Natsume said the man had a heart attack. Madara had watched from the window as the paramedics wheeled the man out of his house on a stretcher and into the back of the ambulance. The man hadn't come back. A few days later there was a funeral. 

Madara started to squirm in Taki's grip. He had to wake Natsume up. 

"Got him!" the male lifeguard shouted triumphantly, as Natsume started to cough weakly. The young man rolled the boy onto his side as red-tinged water spilled out of his mouth followed by pained moans and then vomit. Even still, Natsume's eyes remained closed. 

But his lips moved.

Sen...sei...


	3. Questions and Insults

Maki had seen some shit. At twenty-seven years old, between her ability to see youkai, her lifeguard duties, and her periodic travels around the world, Maki had born witness to some pretty strange stuff. For instance, one time she saw a youkai swallow ten swords and then cough up a swarm of butterflies. That had been weird. Another time, Maki had the misfortune of witnessing Daisuke, her childhood friend and lifeguard partner, attempt to attract foreign women by rubbing barbecue sauce of his chest. It hadn't worked. Point being, Maki was no stranger to the strange. 

But the cat was weird. The cat obviously wasn't an actual cat, but a youkai, most likely the famed Madara that the local youkai occasionally whispered about. Word on the forest path was that Madara was a powerful daiyoukai who had grown attached to a human boy. Based on Maki's admittedly brief observations that appeared to be correct. The second her patient took his first hacking breath the cat had scratched its way out of the girl's arms- Maki felt bad for the girl- and zipped across the sand to hover over the unconscious boy. The cat bounced around the boy seemingly unsure how or where it was safe to touch him. It mewled and whined pathetically. Eventually it plopped itself down next to the boy's hands and patted them while meowing something that sounded suspiciously like the name "Natsume." 

And that was weird. Most youkai would have given the human up as a loss by this point. Youkai were used to watching humans die after all. It was to be expected and the Sighted had a tendency to die young anyway. Maki wouldn't expect this frantic, plaintive sort of behavior from a daiyoukai like Madara. Just how attached to this boy was he? Even Maki's own youkai partner wasn't this attached to her (which was fine since she didn't need a particularly strong partnership in order to achieve her goals). 

Admittedly, Maki didn't know that many youkai/human partnerships. They were few and far between. The most obvious reason for this was because Sighted humans were so few in number. Allegedly, long ago, that wasn't the case and the majority of humans had the Sight. Then something happened- what that something was is greatly speculated about amongst youkai and Sighted humans alike- and suddenly that number sharply declined and now even those born Sighted might lose their ability at some point in their lives. Maki, for one, would hate to lose her ability. 

"Are you okay?" Maki asked, turning her attention to the girl who's arms got raked by the panicking youkai. She stood several feet away, clutching one of her arms, eyes brimming with tears and guilt. 

"I'm fine," she answered softly. She clearly wasn't. 

"You need to get that cleaned and bandaged," Maki gestured to the girl's arm. "What's your name?"

"It's Taki. Taki Tooru. Um, what's yours?"

"It's Morita Maki. It's nice to meet you, Taki-chan, despite the circumstances. Here, follow me," Maki instructed as she started to walk towards the lifeguard tower. If she was going to ask certain questions it would probably be best not to do so right next to the cat. That and Taki-chan was going to need soap and running water to clean her scratches, of course.

Maki stopped next to the lifeguard tower and snagged the spare first aid kit. "Okay, we'll go to the restrooms so you can wash that and then we'll go to the pavilion and I'll bandage it. Sound good? I'm sorry we don't have a fancy first aid station or anything."

They quickly walked towards the small, squat building that housed the restroom, changing rooms, and some vending machines. A small pavilion with picnic tables stood nearby. In Maki's opinion, it was all overdue to be renovated. She took a seat at one of the benches under the pavilion and waited for Taki-chan, who quickly darted into the restroom like there were youkai on her tail.

Guess she really doesn't want to miss that ambulance, Maki thought to herself. 

A few minutes later, Taki-chan exited the restroom and cautiously approached Maki. The girl looked a bit pale, which made the bright red scratches on her arm stand out even more. They looked painful.

"Um," Taki-chan started.

Maki scooted over on the bench and patted the space next to her. "Here, sit. This won't take long. Would you mind if I asked a few questions? I just want to know what to say to the paramedics when they get here."

Taki-chan warily took the seat. "Sure. That's fine. I'd like to ask a few questions myself, if that's okay."

Maki opened the first aid kit. It was getting low on supplies. It was amazing how often people managed to get injured on the beach, even without any youkai involved. She pulled out a disinfecting wipe and gestured for Taki-chan to give Maki her arm. She did.

"Yeah, it's cool. You go first." 

Maki gently cleansed the scratches with the wipe. Taki-chan flinched anyway. Most people did.

It took a few moments but when Taki-chan's question came, Maki froze. "Do you See?"

"What?"

"Do you See?" Taki-chan repeated. "Strange things. Things other people don't see."

Maki reflexively tightened her grip on Taki-chan's arm. "How...? Actually, never mind. You were with that boy and the 'cat'... Wait, you can't See, can you?"

Again, Taki-chan flinches, though for a different reason this time. "No," she says, her voice soft and tinged with disappointment. 

"So then how did you figure out that I can See?"

"Because our friend, the other boy we came with, said that something he couldn't see pulled Natsume under but he obviously wan't bitten by anything so it wasn't a sea creature. The only thing that makes sense is for it to be a youkai. And there's no way you could have saved Natsume from that youkai if you didn't know about them and couldn't see them." The girl's gaze was fierce and her tone confident by the time she finished speaking. Then, was the boy they were with sensitive to youkai, Maki wondered. That seemed to be what Taki-chan was implying. 

"You're smart," Maki eventually responded, after considering Taki-chan's words. "You're right. I can See and I have a youkai partner. We work together to protect the beach and the swimmers. He's the one who got your friend away from the youkai that pulled him under."

"A youkai partner?"

"Yes, like Natsume-kun and his cat."

Taki-chan's eyes narrowed. "How do you know his name?"

Maki checked her watch. They didn't have much time left and she still had questions. The ambulance would be here any minute now and girl, cat, and other boy would leave along with it. Maki couldn't follow; she had to stay here and guard the beach, but she did have another duty... 

"So that is his name. The cat was saying it. Speaking of which, do you feel safe around that cat?" Maki asked, reaching for a bandage. 

Taki-chan jerked her hand back and stood up. "Why are you asking that?! Of course I do! He's a perfectly nice kitty!"

Maki didn't have time for this. "Please sit back down. There's no need to get upset. I might have been a bit tactless with that question but I have to ask. As a person with the Sight I have a duty to make sure that no one gets hurt if something goes wrong."

But Taki-chan didn't sit back down. If anything, she looked even more upset. Tears were welling up in her eyes and her face was taking on a reddish hue. "What are you saying?"

Taking a deep breath, Maki steeled herself. "The cat seems very... fond, of Natsume-kun. I pulled Natsume-kun out of the water and Daisuke got him breathing but even so, people don't always stay, you know? If Natsume-kun doesn't stay- and I hope he does, by the way!- how is the cat going to react? I've been around youkai for a very long time, Taki-chan, and I don't think I've ever seen a youkai so obviously attached to a human before, especially one as powerful as Madara. Do you see what I'm saying?" 

Clouds were gathering in the formerly clear blue sky. They were dark and heavy, laden with rain. A cool breeze picked up. Storm clouds, Maki thought to herself. Maki didn't recall the forecast saying anything about rain. It was unnatural.

"No, I do NOT see what you're saying! You don't know him or- or Natsume or any of us! I don't know what any of us will do if- if Natsume-" the girl visibly swallowed a sob, "But I know- I know he won't hurt us! So please, just leave him alone. I thank you," she bowed low, "for saving Natsume's life but please just leave us alone!"

And with that Taki-chan turned and fled the pavilion. The scratches on her arm were still not bandaged. Maki sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Well, that went horribly. I should have had Daisuke talk to her." He was better at talking to people than she was and girls often found him attractive. Maki wouldn't know about such things though. Waves were more attractive than men were in Maki's eyes.

Then her radio chirped. "Hey, Maki? We have a problem. I think the cat's a youkai. The ambulance is here now and the cat just freaked out and vanished."

"Shit, I'm coming!" Maki radioed back. She dashed out of the pavilion, following in Taki-chan's footsteps, down the beach and towards the center of the storm.

The roar of a scared and pissed off youkai echoed across the beach. A chill ran down Maki's spine. The storm clouds were so dark that day had turned to night. The temperature was plummeting. Somehow, in the span of five or so minutes the atmosphere had completely changed. There was rage here and helplessness and fear. Maki could taste it in the air. The cat's pain was making itself manifest.

"Fuck, shit, fuckity fuck fuckers fucking FUCK!" Maki chanted as she ran into the wind, sand scouring her as it was whipped into her face. Still she cursed. "Fucking hell! Son of a damn youkai! Frickety fracking fuck!"

Finally, through the blowing sands, she could make out the silhouette of a giant wolf. It was huge, easily towering over the much smaller silhouettes of the humans. Even though this sight wasn't visible to everyone, people were still cowering or looking around nervously, sensing the raw power and pain radiating from the enormous panicking youkai even without being able to see it. Maki could. Maki could see the daiyoukai looming over the cautiously approaching forms of the paramedics and a dark haired boy. (Was that the other boy Maki saw with Natsume-kun and Taki-chan?) As Maki drew closer, she could see two of them were squinting in the general direction of Madara's face. Were they Sighted? If so, that may or may not help. At least they would know enough to stay back if they could See.

It was then that Maki noticed that Madara wasn't just looming over the paramedics; he was standing over Natsume-kun, guarding him from the paramedics. The guardian's growls and snarls shook the ground and made the hair on the back of Maki's neck stand on end. The maelstrom overhead was growing wilder, whipping up sand and large ocean waves. The water was rising. A steady pressure was building in the air as power accumulated around the daiyoukai. 

We don't have time for this, Maki thought to herself. Natsume-kun doesn't have time for this. This stupid cat is prepping for a fight that's not going to come and isn't needed right now. Unless...

"Sensei!" Taki-chan yelled. She couldn't see him but she knew he was there. The dark-haired boy stood beside her, clutching his head. He started calling too.

"Sensei! Ponta! Please stop! This isn't helping Natsume!"

But the daiyoukai wasn't backing down. It was as though he couldn't even hear the two teenagers. A paw rose, then smacked the ground hard. The earth shook and sand flew everywhere, some of it even coming to land on Natsume-kun, who was still lying on his side struggling to breathe. One of the paramedics stumbled and fell.

"Sensei!" Taki-chan cried. "Please, listen! I know you're scared but you have to stop! I'll- I'll buy you more shrimp and ice cream! Whatever you want! Just please STOP!"

He's too far gone, Maki concluded. He panicked, heard the boy call for him, and is now trying to help him in the only way he knows how: by protecting him from threats. The problem is that, with the boy in that delicate state, everything looks like a threat, even those trying to help.

"Shit," Maki muttered. "This is going to fucking suck." 

She backed up into the water and got into a defensive stance. Her feet easily sank into the wet sand, grounding her in place. Good. Somewhere in the water, her partner sensed her intent and wrapped a tentacle around her ankle. He was a bit tired from his fight with the youkai that attacked Natsume-kun earlier. She let him drain a bit of her spiritual energy to recharge. They would need every scrap of strength they could muster if they were to distract Madara long enough for the paramedics to get Natsume into the ambulance. 

Maki brought her whistle to her lips. Two short, fast. Give the kitty a warning shot. Get his attention.

Madara flinched as he was struck by the water pulses. He turned and looked over his shoulder in the direction of the attack, teeth bared. Maki couldn't imagine anything going into that maw coming back alive. Red eyes glared into her own. There was no going back now.

"Here kitty, kitty!" Maki jeered. "You wanna fight?"

The kemono youkai snarled but remained crouched protectively over his human. That needed to change.

"You think you can protect him?! You already failed! He needed you and you weren't there! Now he's at death's door because of you! THIS. IS. YOUR. FAULT!!" Maki screamed at those unnerving red eyes. 

Madara fully turned and faced Maki. "HUMAN, YOU GO TOO FAR. BE SILENT." 

Giving a cocky smirk she didn't feel, she beckoned him. "Make me... Bitch." 

And so, with an unhinged roar Madara charged. Long, thick tentacles shot out of the water and ensnared him before he could reach Maki, flipping the raging daiyoukai high above her head, her partner dragged Madara into the depths.


	4. The Blood of the Covenant

"Hey, Nyanko-sensei!" a sweet voice called him. Madara opened his eyes. Natsume, smile brighter than the sun, knelt in front of him where he lay on the couch in the living room. The boy held up a plate of fish over top a bed of white rice. "Happy one year!"

The fish looked delicious. Madara's stomach growled. "What are you talking about? I'm five hundred years old."

Natsume looked unimpressed. Still, he held the plate out. "You know what I mean."

Madara wasn't sure he did. Nevertheless he accepted the offered plate. "No, I don't. One year what?" he asked as he took a bite of the fish. It felt like love. Touko-san's cooking was the best!

A strange look came over the boy's face. "One year since we first met."

Oh.

"I knew it was this month so I asked Touko-san. She looked it up in her diary and told me that it was today... So I made you fish," Natsume explained. He paused, watching Madara swallow a bite. "Is it good?" 

Something within Madara's chest clenched. An intense feeling welled up within him, overwhelming in its simplicity and magnitude. Madara searched for the words to describe it but they eluded him. 

Is it good? 

But there were no words to answer that question, leaving Madara staring stupidly up at Natsume. The feeling was so strong. It constricted his throat and wiped his mind blank of everything. It left him little more than a mere vessel for this one, singular all-consuming feeling.

Eventually, after waiting for a minute without an answer, the boy's expression fell. "Sorry," he said softly, "You don't have to tell me it's bad." He reached out to take the plate. "I'll get you something else."

Without even realizing he was moving, Madara batted Natsume's hand away from the plate. "No!"

The sad, disappointed expression vanished from Natsume's face, replaced with surprise. "Sensei?"

Madara forcibly shoved the feeling down and locked it in a box. Now wasn't the time. "I said 'no.' It's rude to take someone's food away before they're done eating, idiot!" He cleared his throat. "The fish is acceptable." As if to prove his point, Madara took another bite, a large one, of his food. The intense feeling attempted to escape its box as he watched Natsume's expression go soft but he shoved it back down. "From now on you can cook all my meals. You're freeloading here and Touko-san already has enough to do! Besides this can count as part of my bodyguard fee! So tomorrow I want you to make- Hey!"

Natsume's hand found its way behind his ear, scratching away affectionately. "Okay, okay. Not every day though. I have homework and other stuff to do too, you know. But maybe sometimes I'll try to cook something for you." 

That smile...

...

...

It was as bright as the sun shining through the waters above Madara's head as he's pulled deeper and deeper into the cold, unfeeling ocean. Tentacles constrict around his chest and neck, dragging him away from Natsume. Natsume, who's lying breathless and dying on the beach. Natsume, who said his name even as he choked on water and blood. Natsume, who needed him, called for him, called Madara to his side to protect him like he always has and always will... Until he gets the Book of Friends (that day can't be today). 

Natsume...

It was his fault, his fault, his fault... That lifeguard had said. Curse her.

Madara thrashed. His claws raked against his bindings. They wouldn't loosen. He twisted and tried to bite one of the tentacles throttling him but they slipped easily out of his reach, yanking on his neck in such a way that he couldn't bite anything except empty water. 

His vision swam. He wondered if this is how Natsume felt when he drowned. Was it this youkai that did it? Another one? 

Something glinted in the darkness, a pair of poisonous green eyes... His opponent, that woman's partner. He would growl if he had the air to do it. Instead he lets his light shine, blasting the tentacled youkai with the full force of his wrath. His bindings loosen...

...

...

Soft brown eyes blinked at him slowly. So slowly. Almost as if the boy was falling asleep. He wasn't. That grin spoke of mischief. 

Madara watched Natsume, unblinking. What was he up to?

"What's with that look, Natsume? It's creepy!"

Natsume giggled from where he lay on his futon. "Taki told me something interesting about cats today. I wanted to know if it would work on you." He blinked slowly, deliberately, again.

It was weird. "How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a cat?"

Natsume snorts. "You play like a cat. You purr like one, too." 

"So? You can have cat-like qualities and not actually be a cat! What about yesterday, when you were purring, hmmm? Are you actually a cat, Natsume?" 

Yesterday, Natsume, Tanuma, Taki, and Madara (hidden inside Natsume's bag) had all gone to the mall. While they were wandering through the electronics section they had come across something called a "head massager." Tanuma had turned the little machine on and put it on Natsume's head. The resulting purr had been a thing of beauty (and amusement), to Madara and Natsume's friends at least. Natsume had something of a different opinion...

The boy blushed and rolled over to face away from Madara. He mumbled something indistinctly. 

"What was that, Natsume? I couldn't hear you," Madara smirked. He skirted around the boy's head so he could see his face. The boy's embarrassment sparked joy. 

Natsume glowered. "I said shut up, sensei!" He snatched the pillow from under his head and attempted to hit Madara with it. Madara dodged expertly. He cackled.

This went on for a while as boy and cat chased each other about the room, calling out insults and taunts, flinging pillows and other assorted objects in the other's general direction. It was rather late by the time they tired out and found themselves once more lying on the futon. Once again, Natsume lay on his side and slow blinked at Madara.

This time, Madara was tempted to blink back. But still... "What is that? What exactly did Taki tell you?"

Natsume smiled, a hint of mischief still glinting in his eyes. "Well..." 

...

...

Madara was free! He lunged through the water and sank his fangs into the rubbery hide of his opponent. It screamed, a painful piercing sound that stabbed through Madara's skull like a white hot knife. His jaws released. A tentacle as thick as a tree trunk slammed into him, flinging him bodily into the ocean floor. More came to pin him. Glowing green eyes bore into his, a beak opened and clicked shut. Was it going to try and eat him? HIM?! 

He thrashed and twisted and managed to sink his teeth into another tentacle and yank and the youkai screams again, loud and piercing, and Madara's not sure he'll ever be able to hear anything again but he yanks until it rips free of the main body. 

He doesn't even see the jet of concentrated water until it hits him square between the eyes...

...

...

Madara whined and whimpered pathetically, mouth gaping open and full of spines. He should not have bitten that quilled youkai. Natsume had tried to warn him but he hadn't listened. Instead he'd clamped down on it. It had screamed and vanished, like so many before it... But not without leaving at least fifty quills embedded in Madara's mouth as a parting gift. If Madara were the crying type, he would have sobbed. 

Natsume petted him, whispered soothing words as he plucked quill after quill from Madara's mouth. The pain was outrageous, made even worse by how it obviously pained Natsume to hurt him. Each time Madara flinched when a quill was pulled free, Natsume flinched as well. "Sorry, sorry" he murmured over and over, an apologetic mantra. Madara could never hold it against him, this tender, painful helping. It was his own fault...

...

...

His fault, his fault, his fault... He lies there, half buried in the sand, coils of tentacles gripping him in a vice. The suckers on said tentacles keep ripping tufts of fur out while small poisonous barbs sink into his flesh and pull spiritual energy from him. Madara feels exhausted. Darkness creeps into the edges of his vision but he can still see enough to know that he is back on the beach with that youkai looming over him, a triumphant monster, presenting its prey to its master. 

"Yield," the woman says. She's bleeding from her nose and mouth, which Madara finds intriguing, and a bruise is blossoming on her cheek. He can't help but wonder if there's some sort of psychic connection between her and her partner. What would happen to her if he ripped another tentacle from this oversized squid? He rather wants to know. (This is why he never formed that type of bond with Natsume.)

He barely sounds himself when he replies, "Never, you pathetic hayseed." 

She snaps her fingers. 

A tidal wave of pain crashes into him. The sun and the sand and the very air turn red, red, red...

...

...

Natsume holding a basket of apples, smiling happily...

...

...

Natsume sitting at his desk, head in his heads, bemoaning his homework...

...

...

Natsume breaking an onigiri in half, sharing it with him...

...

...

"Yield," the lifeguard repeats. "Your boy is gone already. The ambulance took him away. Your friends are waiting to take you with them to the hospital where Natsume-kun is being transferred. So transform back and get the hell off my beach."

What?

Madara manages to raise his head and look, really look, and notice that Natsume was nowhere to be found. All that was left of him was the pile of blood and bile he brought up when he was resuscitated. They took him... They took Natsume...

Madara screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering what the slow blinking thing is about- that is called the Cat-I-Love-You! Cats, being natural predators, won't close their eyes for very long around things or people they don't feel safe around, as it shows vulnerability. If a cat slow blinks around you, or at you, it's saying that it trusts you. One can say that it's a sort of "I love you." You can do this back with your cat(s) to say "I love you" to them in their language. There are some pretty good videos about this on Youtube, specifically from Jackson Galaxy, the cat guy from the show My Cat From Hell.


	5. Missing Light

Tanuma didn't like hospitals. He wasn't sure that anyone did. The antiseptic smell was off-putting to say the least; the food was usually bad; and the doctors rarely explained things well. Before Tanuma and his father figured out what caused his headaches and fainting spells, Tanuma had spent a fair amount of time in hospitals, being poked and prodded at by doctors and nurses for long hours while they tried to figure out what was wrong with him. He'd endured a fair amount of misdiagnoses and a greater amount of unnecessary treatments. So even though Tanuma wasn't here for himself this time, he was still fairly apprehensive about stepping foot through the hospital front doors. 

He hoped Natsume faired better than he did. He hoped...

"Are you ready?" Taki asked from his left. She gripping a bottle of green tea in her hands as though it were a life preserver. Tanuma wasn't in a much better place as he clung to Natsume's bag, which contained his clothes, shoes, the Book of Friends, and a battered Ponta. 

Tanuma gave a hesitant nod. "We should call the Fujiwaras... I should probably call my dad as well." 

Taki looked surprised for a moment before nodding as well. "You're right. They should be here. I'll call them. You call your dad-"

"How's your hand? And arm? You hit that lifeguard really hard," Tanuma suddenly asked. He stared at her knuckles, skin red and broken in a couple of places. It made his stomach churn anew with worry; he didn't want to think about Taki getting into trouble. 

"It's fine," Taki replied, curtly, then grimaced. "Sorry. I just... The things she said to Nyanko-sensei! Even if she was trying to help, she had no right! We could have talked him down! We..." Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

Tanuma reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I know. I don't like how she handled the situation any better than you do, but... Like you said, she was trying to help. Maybe we could have talked Nyanko-sensei down; maybe we couldn't. But what's done is done. Let's focus on doing what we can to help Natsume now." There probably wasn't very much they could do, Tanuma thought. However, if it were one of them, Tanuma knew that Natsume would do everything he could to help them. Besides, Tanuma owed Natsume. He owed him since he hadn't been able to save Natsume from the attacking youkai. If only he could See...

Taki dried her tears. "Right. We have to be strong for Natsume." She took a sip from her bottle of green tea. "Okay. I'm okay. I'll call the Fujiwaras and you call your dad. Then we'll see if we can't get Natsume his stuff." She cast a meaningful glance at the bag carefully cradled in Tanuma's arms before she turned and walked toward the cluster of pay phones in the far corner of the lobby. Tanuma followed closely on her heels. The bag shifted slightly in his arms, a dead weight that felt not dissimilar to his own guilt. 

___________

Natsume drifted. He didn't know where he was drifting, only that he was, and that he was in pain. The pain, fortunately, was behind a wall. Natsume was glad that there was something between him and the pain. Natsume couldn't properly see it but he knew it was monstrous. It crept about the edges, poking and prodding, looking for weaknesses, any opportunity to slip through the cracks and tear him apart. What glimpses of it Natsume did get, sent twinges through his sides and needles through his eyes. He knew that the closer he looked, the more it would hurt, so he did his best to ignore it. If he was lucky the monster might grow bored and leave on its own...

(There's no way he would be that lucky.)

So Natsume tried to focus on other things, such as the field of fog drifting across his memories. It was clingy, this fog. Every time Natsume tried to get close to something, a place, a thing, or a person, the fog would billow up and obscure the features of whatever he tried to look at. It was frustrating, like the itch of a mosquito bite or the ringing of an alarm clock that wouldn't stop no matter how many times the off button was hit. The more Natsume tried to see, the more the fog thickened and the more intense Natsume's sense of urgency became. 

These shadowy figures... People. The people he loved. If this fog didn't clear, would he never be able to recognize them again? Would he forget them? Would his only companion become the monster that lurked at the edges of his vision? 

An icy fear crept up his spine. 

"Alone," the monster growled from behind him. Its voice held power. The wall cracked under the weight of it. "You are alone." 

His feet moved before on their own. Between one breath and the next he was running, knives plunging into his chest with every gasping breath he took. Nevertheless he fled. He dodged between shadows. A name crawled up his throat. If he could say it...

The monster laughed and more of the wall cracked. The ground shook with each stone that fell. It was becoming harder to breathe. Would he be able to breathe at all when the barrier was gone? Would he be able to call that name?

It felt like light, that name, like a spell or a mantra. It perched upon his tongue and clawed at his lips, begging to be let out. This name, it felt like flying. It felt like a weight on one shoulder, like a ball of warmth in his arms, like soft fur beneath his hands, like jaws that never closed around him but cradled his body and carried him to safety. It felt like a promise. 

A light appeared before him. If he called the name on his tongue he knew it would come.

The barrier gave way; the monster was free. Thunderous feet pounded the ground, chasing Natsume down, accompanied by mocking laughter. Each footfall was an earthquake. 

"I'll eat you!" the monster laughed. "Little boy, I shall eat you!"

The pain was overwhelming. It knocked him flat and stole the air from his lungs and replaced it with thorns. He couldn't breathe! 

The monster was atop him. A clawed hand reached through the fog. "Alone. You are alone and I shall eat you." The hand crushed him in its grip. Laughter clang in his ears.

Natsume reached. With his one free arm he reached for the light. Blood and a name welled up between his lips. The hand around him tightened. The dam broke and he screamed, "Seeeenseeeeiiii!" 

The light flared and this time the monster screamed. Natsume fell as the monstrous hand released him. The ground pilfered what little air remained in his lungs; darkness spiraled around him, joining the fog in an eerie tangle of light and shadow. 

Sensei. Sensei. Sensei.

The name repeated with each beat of Natsume's heart. He remembered. Nyanko-sensei. His sensei, who chased away the monsters for him. His sensei, who walked beside him in the sun and in the rain, in the day and in the night. His sensei, who protected him, played with him, ate with him, bathed with him, slept next to him at night. His sensei, who was the last person he saw when he closed his eyes to sleep and was the first person he saw when he woke again. 

Air finally leaked back into his lungs. He reached up, expecting to find a warm snout hovering over him. He smiled, "Sensei..."

But he found no snout and when he opened his eyes they did not meet the familiar golden eyes of his sensei. What he did find, shocked him to his core.

"Mom? Dad?"

________________

"Dad?" Tanuma said when his father picked up the phone. Despite, his best efforts, his voice shook. 

"Hm? Are you alright?"

Tanuma's hand tightened around the phone. "Yeah, I'm fine. We're at the hospital right now. Dad... There was an accident. Natsume..." He choked on the words.

"Take your time," his father said gently. "Breathe." 

He tried. He sucked in air but every time he did the sound of cracking ribs resounded in his ears and pink foam bubbled up from between blue lips behind his eyes. Each shivering exhale came with the taste of vomit and the sight of Natsume disappearing beneath the waves. 

"He- He drowned! Some- something pulled him under. The lifeguard- she got him out but- but he wasn't breathing! They- they broke his ribs... Dad, I can't get the sound out of my head!" He heard his father suck in a sharp breath. "We're going to drop off his bag. We want to see him, if we can. I don't know if they'll let us but... I want to know that he's going to be okay. So I might not be back till late-"

"Don't worry about that," his father interrupted. "Sorry. I'm so sorry, son. Has anyone told his family yet? Do you need me to come pick you up?" 

"Taki's calling them right now." He hesitated. It was so hard to think. 

"Let me pick you up. We can drop Taki-chan off at her house if her parents aren't able to pick her up, too."

Tanuma nodded, even though his father couldn't see him. "...Okay." It was something of a relief to have the decision taken from him. "Thank you." 

"It's fine. You're my son and I love you. I'll always be there for you." 

"I love you, too, dad," Tanuma nearly sobbed. His eyes stung and his chest ached as he did his best to hold back his tears. Still, some leaked from the corners of his eyes. "I- I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Call me when you need me to pick you up."

"Alright. Bye, dad," he choked out.

"Good-bye, son, and good luck."

Tanuma hung up. Wiping away his tears, he bent down and picked up Natsume's bag. It was suspiciously lighter. With a growing feeling of dread, Tanuma opened the bag. Sensei was missing.


End file.
